I'm going to start this off by admitting that my writing this letter is probably selfish and that is why I have avoided doing so, but I just want to express how much I miss you guys. When I chose to leave my job as your caregiver just know that it was not random, many circumstances led to my wanting to leave that company but none of them were because of you. I had been planning to leave for awhile, but it happened much sooner and abrupt than I had expected. I left to protect myself and my family, I hope you will understand. This was not your fault.
I loved coming in every morning to see your bright happy faces and even your sad pouty ones as mommy or daddy waved goodbye as they rushed off to work. Each morning I was greeted with hugs, kisses and demands for breakfast, I loved every minute I spent with you. We learned together, played together and ate together. I watched many of you turn three years old and watching you grow was so much fun. Ya'll taught me how to be a mommy and now I can't wait to have my own baby, I'll never be able to repay any of you for that. To my parents, I am so sorry. I had some of the best families ever and leaving you was not a decision I took lightly. I loved helping each family achieve their own goals and having fun with your babies in the process of learning. Your kids taught me so much, while you were at work they were my babies and I worked so hard to keep them happy and safe.
I think about them all the time, I remember little Siah, sassy Hira and genius Joey. My heart hurts because I don't remember when was the last time I hugged them or told them bye. I know they probably won't remember me but god... I will never forget them. I will always remember our dance breaks, chasing after each other on the playground, reading together and all the new food we shared. Those kids were the only bright light I had in such a toxic environment.
I knew that childcare wasn't my permanent career choice when I decided to take that job, but I loved kids and I wanted to help my families as much as I was able. I taught them to walk, talk, eat with utensils, drink from a cup, shapes, colors, words, and even some basic sign language. I was teaching your babies these things, but they were also teaching me. I will always look back on my time as a teacher, remember their beautiful happy faces and smile. Being your caregiver was an absolute treasure and I promise to use the tools all of you taught me with my own children. I hope to meet you all again when you are older because I know that every one of you is going to change the world.
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to handle the outside pressures, but they were just too great and it was affecting my job as your teacher and my own health. Now I'm trying to move on and do something that will truly make me happy, but just know that your laughs were getting me up in the morning. Walking into my classroom and seeing how happy ya'll were that I was ready to start the day made my heart happy. The only thing that made that job worthwhile was getting to know and love all of you.
Goodbye for now,
Mrs. Zoe
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